30 Rock: Jack Meets Dennis
Summary
Liz returns together with her ex after he asks her to. Upon hearing this, Jack thinks Liz's life is heading towards mediocrity and sets to be her mentor. Meanwhile, Liz has to deal with the cast members physical changes -- Tracy got a face tatoo; Jenna received collagen and botox treatments; and Josh has two black eyes after a bad run-in with Elizabeth Taylor.
Episode Quotes
Jack: What is your contingency plan for a crap storm of this magnitude?
Liz Lemon: Okay, very funny. You bought a pager from Dennis. Will you take it off now, please?
Jack: Oh, I can't. I'm expecting a call from 1983.
Jack: Lemon, what tragedy happened in your life that you insist upon punishing yourself with all this... mediocrity?
Tracy Jordan: Did you see this? It's horrible! They're printing libel about me again. Libel, Liz Lemon!
Liz Lemon: Oh..."Normal"! How... dare they?
Tracy Jordan: That's what I'm saying! That's character assassination! That's not normal! It only looks like I'm walking out of a Starbucks, when actually I'm doing the robot going backwards INTO a Starbucks! And I don't even know whose dog that is! Yes, I steal dogs.
Liz Lemon: What is the problem?
Tracy Jordan: I can't be normal. If I'm normal, I'm boring. If I'm boring, I'm not a movie star. If I'm not a movie star, I'm poor! And poor people can't afford to pay back the $75,000 in cash they owe Quincy Jones!
[rest of room just stares, nonplused; Tracy indignantly does the robot backward out the door]
Liz Lemon: Wow. Talkin' to that guy is like lookin' in a mirror, huh?
Jenna Maroney: How's the sex?
Liz Lemon: Fast and only on Saturdays. It's perfect.
Liz Lemon: Maybe the musical guest can do some extra songs this week. Who is it?
Pete Hornberger: James Blunt!
Liz Lemon: Ugh.
Dennis Duffy: Technology is cyclical.